Wat Xmas means?

A department lunch on tuesday.... as much as I dun wish to attend... I have to go... sian.... I just concentrate on the food.... when it comes to gift exchange, each of us is asked to pick a no... and mine got a ah nei red dot on the number tag! Shit... those with that dot have to tell wat xmas means to them..... sian.....

In my mind I was trying to give a political correct answer...  Holiday loh.... wat else... it not that xmas dun mean anything to me... just that I dun wish to share my ptd life with them... The first few b4 me started on their religion, gift exchange and stuff.... I just tell them "coming from in a traditional family I dun celebrate xmas!" They must be feeling I am the odd ball... well... just let them be... I was partying like crazy for xmas when I am younger... why should I tell them... hahahah....

Then it comes to gift exchange.... then they started singing!!! I hate that.... the worse is when they start shaking hands greeting xmas and hugging is the worse!!!!!! I m not used to it...The lunch ended and more and more sai from work filled up the day... at the end of the day.... when I have some time alone while on my way home... I started to think what xmas means to me.....

Every year I would make an effort to do something for xmas... this yr, my working life messed up my xmas! Cos in early Jan, there is this major event coming up... I alone serve 10 over ppl with each individual different request!!!! I am feeling more and more like a cheap labour!!!! and worse still they cant make up their mind wat they want and now all goes on leave thinking things can be done with a magical tink! Idiot.... Me being me, the type who cant really bo chap when I can forsee disaster coming... was running up and down everyday like some mad woman.

And wat the rest do.... they still bother to come and check on me.... Their own shit already cannot come out stuck in their asshole liao still come and tap on me.... one day or another they will die of shit overload in their asshole.

Ytd...I received a lot of xmas presents from colleagues...as most of them are going on leave! Then I realised I am so stuck with work that I haven even do my xmas shopping... feeling damm pissed that how this xmas mood is being ruin by work.... I am hoping to knock off on dot ytd to at least do some xmas shopping... and last minute some idiot came and step my tail! Giving me trouble! I can no longer hold my anger and he got it! Obi good! U think I weak cat!!! I dun give respect to those who is not worthy of it!

Although I release my volcano, things are not going to change... the deadline of the jan event will still have to be meet.... sometimes I just hope that I can be bo chap and hack care.... but given my character I know its difficult... unless I really give up! I am trying to physco myself to give up... hack care! This is not a diffcult environment if you know the rules of the game and play along with it.... Although I am fully aware of the rules... I am unwilling to change my character for the game sake! One of my very close colleague told me, I am still too young to understand...... why must one change ??? In order to survive? Wat a fake world....

So wat xmas means? It means its time to reflect and review... if its time to change or to get stuck and live with it..... I haven find my answer....