With Clovy, before she was born, I already notice some discharge and these are signs or pre-milk, colostrum. The day she arrived, she was able to latch on and on direct latch throughout our stay in the hospital. When we reached home, I have formula on standby based on our experience with Charlotte. The 1st night I tried latched on but she was still crying so we gave some formula. When the CL arrived she commented that Clovy is not full and dehydrated. She immediately gave her a bottle of formula. From the minute Clovy arrived, I did not manage to "sleep through" the night even with the CL. I still remembered with Charlotte, I managed to sleep 1 full night on day 2 of hospital stay. Clovy was due to latching at night so I didn't get undisturbed sleep. Now with the supply of milk, I didn't get undisturbed sleep as well even those I do not have to do night duty during confinement period.
My supply of milk is a battle for me... I woke up every 3 hours to pump. Clovy sleep with the CL at night and she is on formula at night as recommended by the CL so that Clovy can get more nutrients. I agreed to the arrangement as I do feel that my breast milk is very watery.
My breast feeding journey is a "roller coaster" ride. After 1 week my milk supply came and I was battling with blocked ducts. Chilled cabbage is my saviour. The CL made a lot of soup for me and she commented that milk supply will only increase with increase intake of liquid. After 2 week, I was down on fever due to a blocked duct. I could feel a ball like thingy... I get the massage lady to help clear... She use her "cow" strength and did not manage to remove it... I applied the first chilled cabbage. The cold compressed provides some release of heat. I also tried to get a lot of advise on breast feeding from my cousin who has a lot of supply of milk. The first experienced with blocked duct really made me very demoralized and wanted to stop breast feeding. I also tried direct latch to get Clovy to help "sucked" out the blockage. I was also on mummy chat group. There are many school of thoughts... There are mummies who are super pro Breastfeeding especially direct latch... So they just latch on demand which is damm tiring... Because I noticed from Clovy, she will suck and sleep half full... The minute you put her down, she starts to cry...never if she manage to sleep, it will just be a while. So I pump and let CL bottle fed her.
By the 3rd week, I am averagely pumping about 70ml but her demand is about 90ml. Since she is on mixed of breast milk and formula, I am not concern about supply...I am more worried about blocked duct. Whenever the milk is "coming", I could feel that it's like going to burst out... I also started freezing some breast milk from night pump. From the first experienced on blocked duct, I wanted to cut down my supply or stop Breastfeeding... So I tried to get some "advise" online... I tried to drag the interval. Guess what, I end up with blocked duct again! Luckily I managed to clear it and did not get fever from it.
Based on 2 blocked ducts incidents, I also learn that milk supply will established from week 6 to 8. It might be too early for me to to anything funny. So I begin religiously pumping. On the day we had Clovy's full month celebration, I brought the pump along to pump in the car even under the intense heat from the afternoon sun. That evening after the event, I was down with fever again! I do not understand why. That night I got some advised from friend to stop drinking fish soup. I told the CL I do not want any more fish soup. She says it's not the problem with the soup. She used a towel in hot water bath and massage for me. I was thinking it's going to hurt badly but I was surprised that this method actually provide some release! I did hot compressed to clear blocked duct earlier but I only do spot heat compressed which make that blocked duct spot even more painful. What the CL did was to apply to the whole area. Then the hot towel did help to open up the milk pores. When she saw that I m only using 1/3 of the pump strength, she says no wonder I got blocked duct... Because I most probably did not empty the milk every pump. I told her it's painful to use high pressure from the pump. I normally did not apply hot compressed before pump, so I would start from low speed to stimulate then higher speed later on... Something I read from google search as well.
But not all method work on all people. Now I found a more effective method from the CL advise. I will apply hot compressed to the whole area before pumping... This helps to open the milk pores... Then I can immediately use higher pressure pumping. With this method, I manage to cut down the machine pumping to 15 min instead of 30 min previously. The machine will pump about 15 min and I will noticed that the output becomes smaller. I will stop the pump and hand expressed to clear. I also did a check to ensure the milk has been emptied. The check is done by pushing from all angle to ensure no more output of milk. With this method, each yield is minimally 100ml.
I also realized that wearing clothes that is too tight does caused blocked ducts. Because there is 1 noon I slept in tighter top I got a blockage on the side that I slept on. Thus, I suspect the blocked duct from baby shower is due to tight top.
With breast feeding I also face the dilemma of both ftwm and sahm. When Charlotte arrived I got no CL no helper and took care of her myself till week 7 and I was down with fever... back then I got no milk so no bf... after the fever episode I faster got a helper in and train the helper to take care bb b4 I go back to work. Back then my conclusion is I cannot be a sahm.
5 years later today. I got a CL and glad I got her because I have milk supply so battling with engorgement and blocked duct... before CL go back, I was worried how how I can managed pumping and taking care of baby. I know a lot of mothers faced this issue and majority will do direct latch to minimize washing and stuff but I do not wish to be a human pacifier. I managed to get a helper to come 4 days before CL leave... now training her but she is very inexperienced and still need a lot of guidance. .. this got me very worried and at this moment I really dare not leave baby in her hand out of sight. I read those blog entry I did in the past from my past helper who take care of Charlotte. My ex helper had experienced with baby and was able to get into momentum very fast. This helper has zero experienced with baby, but I choose her because she match majority of my requirement, and she does have some experienced with her nephew and nieces... So weighing the pros and cons I decided to try her out. After 3 days of training, she still not really on the ball.... I start to questioned is it I m being impatient... I keep thinking maybe I will have to take care baby myself longer to wait till baby grow stronger and bigger to be safe in the maid's care.... the thought of sahm flash across my mind... But I m not sure how that would work out.... It will be terrible in financial wise.... Mentally wise I am not sure if I can manage facing baby 24 by 7.....feeling torn :(
Another factor I have to consider is Charlotte. I tried not to devote 100% of my time to baby. We have been prepping charlotte for the little one. Nonetheless she do show a bit of attitude problem after arrival of Clovy. Most of the time is attention seeking. She goes to cc in the day and when she is back in the evening time she will tend to get my attention to do this and that with her. I try to spend some of "these" quality time with her... during the time when I need to do something else, I kept her inform of where I m. For example, when I m going into the room... I will tell her I m going into the room... sometimes she follow and sit there to play her toys or ipad. I guess for their age they want to be involved and felt left out when not knowing what we are doing. I also felt her sense of insecurity especially with more stranger at home. It started with the CL staying in and I explained to her aunty is here to take care of baby and mummy for 1 month. Then the helper which I explained to her that kaka(sister) will take care of baby when mummy go back to work. There was once she asked me why our home got so many people.
Charlotte has also her sweet side... Before delivery of Clovy, I told her I would not be able to bath her after baby come out because I cannot touch water, reason being I will be in pain. And the first night in hospital she saw that I can't get down the bed, I explain my backside pain (easy explanation). Then the breast feeding journey, she saw my breast pain. There was once she wrote a small note, "because u pain pain, I love u". Yesterday, she say mummy u cannot touch water. I told her that is for 1 month only and it over. Now I can touch water. She asked your backside still pain? I say no... I am actually surprised that she remembered. I ever told her that when baby is out I would not be going to work for a while.... Yesterday out of the blue, she said, mummy u not working, you can take my money (piggy bank)... It was really sweet of her. She also drew this for me during my bf "roller coaster" stage.
From pregnancy till confinement, Charlotte has been spending a lot of time with her father as I can't help her with a lot of the daily chores. So after confinement, we managed to spend some time together. Last Friday evening after dinner, I wanted to buy some stuff from compasspoint. So I took the opportunity to go out as the CL is still with us to take care of baby. I brought Charlotte with me so we went buying mattress cover on promotion (ad hoc), some cosmetic which was what I wanted to get. And finally sharing a mr bean ice cream cone together before heading home.
There are also evil sides of Charlotte. During my last trimester with a big belly, I told her I can't twist my body to help her changed when she is lying down. She likes to lie down on her bed in the morning and expect me to pull her pj out for her... Back then I show her how I can't turn with my tummy and ask her to stand up to change out of her pj. After delivery, she lie on the bed again and I requested her to stand up. She said, now u got no tummy, why you cannot turn. I almost puke out flesh blood!
Side track.... My CL cook really nice food... I only took 2 photos as most of the time I would have gobbled up all the food before it turn cold :P
Photo with Auntie Mary, my CL. We brought her to a farewell dinner at House of Seafood.
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