Rusty???
After the baby was born, the panicked Chinese father went to see the obstetrician.
"Doctor! I don't mind telling you, but I'm upset about my daughter's hair color! She has red hair! She can't possibly be mine!" the man exclaimed.
"Nonsense! Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool." the doctor replied calmly.
"It isn't possible. We're pure asians." the man insisted.
"Well, then let me ask you this..How often do you have sex?" said the doctor.
The man seemed ashamed. "I've been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice a month."
"There you have it!" the doctor said confidently. "It's just rust!"
The more you rub, the bigger it gets
a teacher came to class one day and found the word penis written very discreetly on 1 corner of the black board, turning around to see no guilty faces , she rubbed it off and continued wif the class.
the next day she came in and there was that word again in a larger font, feeling the culprit got braver and seeing no guilty face, she continued wif the lesson.
this happened over the next few days till the word has covered the whole board and was quite a problem in sch, still the teacher took no action.
1 fine day she came to class expecting to rub another "penis"
off the board oni to see the words "the more u rub it the bigger it gets"
written on the board......
Glow in the dark
There's a newly wed couple who wanted to have sex on the wedding night... but they don't want to have a baby soon.. so they wanted to have protected sex....
so the man went down to a nearby convience store and saw a set of condoms.. the first one was the normalone the second was red (strawberry) the third one was black (chocolate) and the last one was luminous.... so after pondering for a while he decided to take the chocolate one....
while the man was deciding what to choose... his poor wife got raped by a black man (regardless of race.... ^^) and didn't told her husband...
so after nine months the baby can out.... by the time he could speak the first question was... "daddy how come i'm dark skin and u and mummy are not???
the dad replied..." luckily i didn't use the lumious one... otherwise u will be glowing in the dark...."
A women desperately looking for work goes into a toy factory.
The Personnel Manager goes over her resume and explains to her that he regrets he has nothing worthy of her. The woman answers that she really needs work and will take almost anything. The Personnel Manager hems and haws and finally says he does have a low skill job on the Tickle-Me-Elmo line and nothing else. The woman happily accepts.. He takes her down to the line and explains her duties and that she should come in at 8am the next day.
The next day at 8:45 there's a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Tickle-Me-Elmo line manager comes in and starts ranting about the woman just hired. After screaming for 15 minutes about how badly backed up the assembly line is, the Personnel Manager suggested he be shown the problem.
Together they head down to the line and sure enough Elmos are backed up from here to kingdom come. Right at the end of the line is the woman just hired. She has pulled over a roll of the material used for the Elmos and has a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric and takes 2 marbles and starts sewing them between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager starts to kill himself laughing and finally after 20 minutes of rolling around, he pulls himself together and walks over to the new employee and says, "I'm sorry, I guess you misunderstood me yesterday. What I wanted you to do was give Elmo two test tickles."
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